Socialization per the Encyclopedia Britannica:
Socialization, the process whereby an individual learns to adjust to a group (or society) and behave in a manner approved by the group (or society). According to most social scientists, socialization essentially represents the whole process of learning throughout the life course and is a central influence on the behaviour, beliefs, and actions of adults as well as of children.Psychologically, your feelings will either inhibit or promote your socialization (yep, breaking out that undergrad knowledge, thank you very much). For instance, if you are fearful of large groups, it is unlikely going to The Taste of Chicago is something you would consider even if it does take place in the greatest city in the world (yeah, I am partial). Walking around with 1.4 million people does not appeal to me and I do not have a fear of large groups but for someone who gets jumpy in a group larger than 20 people, the thought of 1.4 million is likely paralyzing.
Emotions play a large part in socialization. My oldest son does not like school but he goes because that is what you do. He wants a good job with good benefits so he can move forward. The best way to get that good job is education. When faced with an unfamiliar situation, even when it is unexpected, he knows he can do it and if he does not know what to do, he asks for help. He has confidence. My kids were supposed to fly on their own to my in-laws last year. Because my youngest was only 13, my husband was allowed to accompany them both to the gate. My youngest could not make himself get on that plane so my oldest went alone. Obviously, he was nervous but he did it without issue and since he was old enough to fly by himself anyway, my in-laws were unable to accompany him to the gate on their end so he had to do it by himself from security.
My youngest was unable to fly because of fear. He knows his brother would not let anything happen to him and if he were traveling with him to get to us or to get to his grandmother, he would have no problems getting on the plane. Because he had not flown nor seen the in-laws in many years, his fear kept him off the plane. The comfort of knowing he would be with his brother was not enough to get him on the plane and that is OK. His brother was bummed but he still enjoyed his trip. Had their grandfather not been out there already, who knows, he might have gotten on the plane but to be with people he has not seen in many years and does not know (even though they are family) in addition to being with a person he finds difficult made him too anxious to fly. He got on a plane without issue two weeks later when our family took a trip. He was completely annoyed with me the whole time but that is another story.
My youngest knows how to behave in society. He opens doors for me and others, he is polite, he engages in conversation if spoken to, he can order his own meal when we are in a restaurant, he and his brother go places together and engage with shopkeepers, cashiers, etc. I get compliments galore on what a wonderful young man he is. The idea that he is missing something by not attending public school is absurd to me and I will explain why.
The alleged benefits of public school are that kids learn to relate to different personality types. It is said (by Scholastic) that working through disagreements on the playground or at the lunch table helps negotiation skills, problem-solving abilities and self-control. All of this is true unless your child is bullied (really bullied not just the normal garbage kids do to each other at school) or otherwise subject to many conflicts while in school (teachers and administrators can be bullies too - unfortunately, we have experienced that firsthand). Bullied kids and those who cannot seem to avoid conflict do not socialize, they exist until they can go home. In addition, kids who attend public school are introduced to drugs, sex and pornography. How is this helpful to my child? Outside of school, our kids will interact with people of all ages - people at restaurants, stores, church, family functions, etc. My child functions fine in these situations and behaves in a manner approved by the group which leads me to believe he is socialized.
Whew, I feel better now. Thanks for 'listening'. =)
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I have read many articles on the subject over the years. This link will lead you to one I have read most recently and have used information from in my blog post. It's a pretty neat site overall so check it out.
http://oureverydaylife.com/school-impacts-childs-socialization-16255.html
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