Learning Curve

  In another post I mentioned that my youngest was annoyed with me when we took a trip by plane two weeks after he could not get himself on the plane with his brother. We were taking a longer trip than the flight out to Vegas and it was not like anyone was going to be there to take him if he could not make himself get on the plane. It also was not a cheap flight. We paid my in-laws the $100 for the flight to Vegas he missed but we did not have the money to lose on the one we took two weeks later because it was not only his ticket that we would lose money on. One of us would have to stay behind with him. He absolutely needed to make that flight so we saw the psychologist right after he missed the flight to visit the in-laws and talked about the Rx needed to calm his nerves. We had less than 14 days for him to take the meds; hopefully that was enough to get him on the plane. That was an anxious two weeks for all of us.

  Hindsight is wonderful, isn't it? Now I can see that we had nothing to worry about. He would not have been frozen and not able to get on the plane with us but at the time, I did not know that. I kept asking how he was and I think I made him more nervous than anything. He was fine to get on that plane because my husband and I were with him. It likely would have only taken one of us to be with him for him to be OK. Lesson learned.

  I do not have social anxiety, at least, not to the extent my son has it. I am what I consider 'normal nervous' before doing something new. I can sit in a restaurant by myself and eat and read. The first time I did it, I hated it but I am used to it now so it does not bother me. I made myself do it in the first place so I was in control. Maybe that is why I can continue to do it and even enjoy it. I had always admired people sitting in cafes reading their book while sipping on their coffee. They looked so relax, so peaceful. I wanted to be relaxed and peaceful!

  Walking into a new job, a classroom, a new restaurant, exercise class by yourself is nerve wracking even for people who are normal nervous but for someone with social anxiety, it is paralyzing. The only one from that list that cannot be done with a buddy is walking into a new job and quite possibly the classroom. My son will be taking driver's ed soon so my goal for him is to be able to walk into the class each week and get it done. We can work on the new job another time although I think he would be fine with that. Most of his aversion to doing things he does not want to do seems to center around school BUT he does want his license and he wants it at 16 to show up his brother (who did not go get his until almost 18) so that might be the motivation he needs to get himself to class. Wish us luck!