A friend of mine asked me about homeschooling about a month ago (what program do you use, how to track grades, how many hours do they work on schoolwork, etc.) and I was delighted to share my experience!
Seems their child is going through some of what my youngest went through including attending the same hospital program. Their saving grace is that this is happening early in the school year and they have me. =)
I gave advice (solicited for once!) on the program I use and how I ran things for 8th grade and how I am running things for 9th. It was fun to talk about it but also a little nerve-wracking... I take homeschooling seriously but I did not want to give the impression that the way I am doing it is the only way. And, the first year, I gave A LOT of leeway to my son and I have a feeling it came off as me being too easy on him. More importantly, I did not want them to think that just because it is working for us that it will work for them.
I absolutely hope it does work for them. There are many special circumstances in their situation which I do not have in mine so the program I am using would be the easiest for them to implement with everything they have going on; BUT, homeschooling is fluid (as I was reminded by my homeschool reference) and you have to be OK with changing things that are not working for you or your child.
I wish them the best and hope they can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Thursday, November 17, 2016
Sunday, November 13, 2016
Socialization (Here Comes The Hives)
Do you remember when I mentioned that the word socialization gives me hives? Well, I have taken a Benadryl so here goes...
Socialization per the Encyclopedia Britannica:
Emotions play a large part in socialization. My oldest son does not like school but he goes because that is what you do. He wants a good job with good benefits so he can move forward. The best way to get that good job is education. When faced with an unfamiliar situation, even when it is unexpected, he knows he can do it and if he does not know what to do, he asks for help. He has confidence. My kids were supposed to fly on their own to my in-laws last year. Because my youngest was only 13, my husband was allowed to accompany them both to the gate. My youngest could not make himself get on that plane so my oldest went alone. Obviously, he was nervous but he did it without issue and since he was old enough to fly by himself anyway, my in-laws were unable to accompany him to the gate on their end so he had to do it by himself from security.
My youngest was unable to fly because of fear. He knows his brother would not let anything happen to him and if he were traveling with him to get to us or to get to his grandmother, he would have no problems getting on the plane. Because he had not flown nor seen the in-laws in many years, his fear kept him off the plane. The comfort of knowing he would be with his brother was not enough to get him on the plane and that is OK. His brother was bummed but he still enjoyed his trip. Had their grandfather not been out there already, who knows, he might have gotten on the plane but to be with people he has not seen in many years and does not know (even though they are family) in addition to being with a person he finds difficult made him too anxious to fly. He got on a plane without issue two weeks later when our family took a trip. He was completely annoyed with me the whole time but that is another story.
My youngest knows how to behave in society. He opens doors for me and others, he is polite, he engages in conversation if spoken to, he can order his own meal when we are in a restaurant, he and his brother go places together and engage with shopkeepers, cashiers, etc. I get compliments galore on what a wonderful young man he is. The idea that he is missing something by not attending public school is absurd to me and I will explain why.
The alleged benefits of public school are that kids learn to relate to different personality types. It is said (by Scholastic) that working through disagreements on the playground or at the lunch table helps negotiation skills, problem-solving abilities and self-control. All of this is true unless your child is bullied (really bullied not just the normal garbage kids do to each other at school) or otherwise subject to many conflicts while in school (teachers and administrators can be bullies too - unfortunately, we have experienced that firsthand). Bullied kids and those who cannot seem to avoid conflict do not socialize, they exist until they can go home. In addition, kids who attend public school are introduced to drugs, sex and pornography. How is this helpful to my child? Outside of school, our kids will interact with people of all ages - people at restaurants, stores, church, family functions, etc. My child functions fine in these situations and behaves in a manner approved by the group which leads me to believe he is socialized.
Whew, I feel better now. Thanks for 'listening'. =)
------
I have read many articles on the subject over the years. This link will lead you to one I have read most recently and have used information from in my blog post. It's a pretty neat site overall so check it out.
http://oureverydaylife.com/school-impacts-childs-socialization-16255.html
Socialization per the Encyclopedia Britannica:
Socialization, the process whereby an individual learns to adjust to a group (or society) and behave in a manner approved by the group (or society). According to most social scientists, socialization essentially represents the whole process of learning throughout the life course and is a central influence on the behaviour, beliefs, and actions of adults as well as of children.Psychologically, your feelings will either inhibit or promote your socialization (yep, breaking out that undergrad knowledge, thank you very much). For instance, if you are fearful of large groups, it is unlikely going to The Taste of Chicago is something you would consider even if it does take place in the greatest city in the world (yeah, I am partial). Walking around with 1.4 million people does not appeal to me and I do not have a fear of large groups but for someone who gets jumpy in a group larger than 20 people, the thought of 1.4 million is likely paralyzing.
Emotions play a large part in socialization. My oldest son does not like school but he goes because that is what you do. He wants a good job with good benefits so he can move forward. The best way to get that good job is education. When faced with an unfamiliar situation, even when it is unexpected, he knows he can do it and if he does not know what to do, he asks for help. He has confidence. My kids were supposed to fly on their own to my in-laws last year. Because my youngest was only 13, my husband was allowed to accompany them both to the gate. My youngest could not make himself get on that plane so my oldest went alone. Obviously, he was nervous but he did it without issue and since he was old enough to fly by himself anyway, my in-laws were unable to accompany him to the gate on their end so he had to do it by himself from security.
My youngest was unable to fly because of fear. He knows his brother would not let anything happen to him and if he were traveling with him to get to us or to get to his grandmother, he would have no problems getting on the plane. Because he had not flown nor seen the in-laws in many years, his fear kept him off the plane. The comfort of knowing he would be with his brother was not enough to get him on the plane and that is OK. His brother was bummed but he still enjoyed his trip. Had their grandfather not been out there already, who knows, he might have gotten on the plane but to be with people he has not seen in many years and does not know (even though they are family) in addition to being with a person he finds difficult made him too anxious to fly. He got on a plane without issue two weeks later when our family took a trip. He was completely annoyed with me the whole time but that is another story.
My youngest knows how to behave in society. He opens doors for me and others, he is polite, he engages in conversation if spoken to, he can order his own meal when we are in a restaurant, he and his brother go places together and engage with shopkeepers, cashiers, etc. I get compliments galore on what a wonderful young man he is. The idea that he is missing something by not attending public school is absurd to me and I will explain why.
The alleged benefits of public school are that kids learn to relate to different personality types. It is said (by Scholastic) that working through disagreements on the playground or at the lunch table helps negotiation skills, problem-solving abilities and self-control. All of this is true unless your child is bullied (really bullied not just the normal garbage kids do to each other at school) or otherwise subject to many conflicts while in school (teachers and administrators can be bullies too - unfortunately, we have experienced that firsthand). Bullied kids and those who cannot seem to avoid conflict do not socialize, they exist until they can go home. In addition, kids who attend public school are introduced to drugs, sex and pornography. How is this helpful to my child? Outside of school, our kids will interact with people of all ages - people at restaurants, stores, church, family functions, etc. My child functions fine in these situations and behaves in a manner approved by the group which leads me to believe he is socialized.
Whew, I feel better now. Thanks for 'listening'. =)
------
I have read many articles on the subject over the years. This link will lead you to one I have read most recently and have used information from in my blog post. It's a pretty neat site overall so check it out.
http://oureverydaylife.com/school-impacts-childs-socialization-16255.html
Thursday, October 20, 2016
Permission To Drop It
Yesterday was a struggle with math so I told my son he only needed to finish up pre-algebra with the program we have and I would find a non-common core algebra curriculum for 9th grade. He counted up the amount of work he had to do and was bummed to find out how much he had left with only two weeks to do it. I mentioned he knew since the first day of school he had math to finish and he chose to only focus on science and leave all the math until last. He dragged his feet with the science too - can we say, Pro-CRAS-tin-ation (it's split up like that because I am hearing Sponge Bob in my head saying it like he said, "I-MAGE-in-ation" and yes, I am also picturing the hand movements in my head).
I have a friend who is homeschooling all three of her kids, and has been for a while now; she is my main go-to person for homeschooling. I asked what math she uses - Teaching Textbooks. Pricey but she says they are worth it. I am going to look into other options but this remains my first choice because I know someone using it successfully.
Since my youngest went to bed early last night and was clearly down about math, I asked my friend her opinion on something that was bugging me - should I make him finish pre-algebra or move on?
I was not sure what to expect from her because I really did not know what to do. Am I failing him in some way by not making him finish what he started? Am I missing the point of homeschooling by not allowing him to move forward and try something else when one thing is clearly not working for him? I was truly stuck! Her response? "Move on. If the program isn't working, don't fall down that rabbit hole. If he's frustrated, it is not helping him. He's not learning so it's time to be done." I looked at my screen in disbelief. She gave me permission to drop it even though it was not finished and there was no judgment there (not that I thought there would be from her).
I read so many books on homeschooling and most, if not all, said to drop something if it was not working for you or for your child. Why I needed someone else to give me permission to do what I had read about and knew already, I do not know but it definitely gave me the confidence I needed to move forward. Homeschooling is not always cheap. And the thought of wasting money makes me itch so it is not odd that I wanted to stick it out even after all I have read on homeschooling. If he were in public school, he would have to finish. I have to get out of that mindset. I think what bothers me most though is my son does not think he is good at math when I know he is. He can do complex problems in his head and give the right answer. How is that not good at math? He is brilliant! Yes, I am partial but who can blame me? :)
I have been struggling with the decision to homeschool since bringing it up in January 2015. I am a wife, a mom of two boys, a daughter, an aunt, a good friend to many, a church member, a crafter and I work full time - how can I possibly homeschool too? My list as I am thinking about it right now:
I have a friend who is homeschooling all three of her kids, and has been for a while now; she is my main go-to person for homeschooling. I asked what math she uses - Teaching Textbooks. Pricey but she says they are worth it. I am going to look into other options but this remains my first choice because I know someone using it successfully.
Since my youngest went to bed early last night and was clearly down about math, I asked my friend her opinion on something that was bugging me - should I make him finish pre-algebra or move on?
I was not sure what to expect from her because I really did not know what to do. Am I failing him in some way by not making him finish what he started? Am I missing the point of homeschooling by not allowing him to move forward and try something else when one thing is clearly not working for him? I was truly stuck! Her response? "Move on. If the program isn't working, don't fall down that rabbit hole. If he's frustrated, it is not helping him. He's not learning so it's time to be done." I looked at my screen in disbelief. She gave me permission to drop it even though it was not finished and there was no judgment there (not that I thought there would be from her).
I read so many books on homeschooling and most, if not all, said to drop something if it was not working for you or for your child. Why I needed someone else to give me permission to do what I had read about and knew already, I do not know but it definitely gave me the confidence I needed to move forward. Homeschooling is not always cheap. And the thought of wasting money makes me itch so it is not odd that I wanted to stick it out even after all I have read on homeschooling. If he were in public school, he would have to finish. I have to get out of that mindset. I think what bothers me most though is my son does not think he is good at math when I know he is. He can do complex problems in his head and give the right answer. How is that not good at math? He is brilliant! Yes, I am partial but who can blame me? :)
I have been struggling with the decision to homeschool since bringing it up in January 2015. I am a wife, a mom of two boys, a daughter, an aunt, a good friend to many, a church member, a crafter and I work full time - how can I possibly homeschool too? My list as I am thinking about it right now:
- Am I doing enough?
- Am I spending enough time with him through this?
- Is the education I am providing him good enough to advance him?
- What amount of space should I give to him?
- Is the documentation I keep sufficient?
- Would I nag him less if he was in public school?
- Am I letting him off too easy when I do not nag him?
- How much nagging is too much and can I call it something other than nagging?
- How does this change our relationship now that I am Mom and Teacher?
- Do I get him out of the house enough?
- Am I allowing him to turn into a hermit?
- Does my husband think I am doing a good job?
- What does he think of the decisions I have made?
Given my list of insecurities and the fact that my child is struggling with something that I can fix easily (no more common core, thank you very much), it seems clear to me now that my struggle is not because he is homeschooled, but that he is no longer in public school.
Let me explain - there are certain expectations for public school students. As a student, you need to memorize certain things in order to pass all the tests so you can move to the next grade level. Key word here is memorize. My goal for homeschooling is that my son learns and retains information for future use. What good is memorizing facts just to take a test? And who is to say that what the test is asking him to remember is the part he needs to or wants to? If he forgets what he has learned, what is the lesson? Right now, he is learning and retaining information that he can recall at a later time which was my goal.
We have our good days and our bad days but he is learning and that is the main thing.
Friday, September 23, 2016
Year 2 Progress thus far
Back to school!
Since my son is not attending a class at the high school this year, there was no reason to start him based on the district's calendar so I pushed back the first day of school until the Wednesday after Labor Day. A coworker had the day after Labor Day off so I had him work on end of year tests that day to gauge where he was in math and English. On the 7th, we talked about goals for the year, his schedule for classes, etc.
Since we did not actually finish 8th grade, I wanted him to complete the sections of science and math he was missing. He has until the middle of October. We will see where he is at then and go from there. So far, he seems to be focusing on science only which is fine. He is powering on through.
I have seen good things so far from him already and I am excited for this school year!
Since my son is not attending a class at the high school this year, there was no reason to start him based on the district's calendar so I pushed back the first day of school until the Wednesday after Labor Day. A coworker had the day after Labor Day off so I had him work on end of year tests that day to gauge where he was in math and English. On the 7th, we talked about goals for the year, his schedule for classes, etc.
Since we did not actually finish 8th grade, I wanted him to complete the sections of science and math he was missing. He has until the middle of October. We will see where he is at then and go from there. So far, he seems to be focusing on science only which is fine. He is powering on through.
I have seen good things so far from him already and I am excited for this school year!
Monday, May 30, 2016
Finally Finished (Sort Of)
Ok, so technically, he did not finish 8th grade but we are done with school. He still has some math and science to complete but we will work on that in the fall. Since I had a kid in public school this year, I based the homeschool calendar on his school calendar to keep things simple. My oldest is done with school (he graduated - YAY!) so my youngest is done with school.
It was a reeeaaaaalllllyyyy long year for both of us. Up until last month, I was not sure if he was going to public school for freshman year or not. Now that I know he is not going to public school ( I am OK with him being done. It has been so stressful not knowing what the ultimate plan was this whole time because I kept thinking I was not doing enough if he was going to go back to public school. What if he was not learning all he needed to learn? I was really worried about common core math.
No need to worry anymore though because he will continue with home schooling. He is learning a lot and is retaining what he learns which is what I really like. The psychologist suggested that perhaps he should take a class at the high school just to get out of the house and get that experience and to our surprise my son agreed!
I spent the better part of the last month in talks with the high school counselor and the vice principal discussing what my son would need while at school but was unable to get everything nailed down for fall (for future reference, it takes more than 4 weeks to get this nailed down especially toward the end of the school year). We'll try for 2nd semester. In the meantime, I am going to enjoy my summer. I know my son is too.
It was a reeeaaaaalllllyyyy long year for both of us. Up until last month, I was not sure if he was going to public school for freshman year or not. Now that I know he is not going to public school ( I am OK with him being done. It has been so stressful not knowing what the ultimate plan was this whole time because I kept thinking I was not doing enough if he was going to go back to public school. What if he was not learning all he needed to learn? I was really worried about common core math.
No need to worry anymore though because he will continue with home schooling. He is learning a lot and is retaining what he learns which is what I really like. The psychologist suggested that perhaps he should take a class at the high school just to get out of the house and get that experience and to our surprise my son agreed!
I spent the better part of the last month in talks with the high school counselor and the vice principal discussing what my son would need while at school but was unable to get everything nailed down for fall (for future reference, it takes more than 4 weeks to get this nailed down especially toward the end of the school year). We'll try for 2nd semester. In the meantime, I am going to enjoy my summer. I know my son is too.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Whine About It
…Homeschooling is hard. Why doesn’t he just do his work?
When I get home after spending the day at work, I’m tired. I don’t want to do
math. I don’t like math. And, common core math is icky. When the directions
tell him to write a paragraph, why do I get a sentence or two? Is the word ‘paragraph’
invisible to him? Or worse, did they not teach him what a paragraph is? Why is
the 8th grade math familiar to him but the 7th grade
social studies material is not? …
Oh, I could go on but I’ll spare you. I’m a silver lining
type of girl but I have my days where I cannot be Miss Mary Sunshine all day. I
have a good day at work to come home to find the boy has had a reasonable day
of homeschooling but the psychologist is holding me accountable for him socializing.
No, my whole day is not ruined
with this news. I’m an adult. Although, truth be told, I’m resentful of the
psychologist’s insinuation that my child isn’t socializing.
Is he socializing
as much as the psychologist would like? No, because he’s not in public school. But,
it’s not like the child doesn’t ever leave the house. He talks to people. He can order his own food when we go out. He has a good friend he
hangs out with when they both have time and he has a group of boys he games
with every month or so. He spends a lot of time with his brother and he also
spends quality time with his grandmother which is good for him. The word ‘socialization’
gives me hives (a topic for another day) so I digress.
I have to keep in mind that whining about it isn’t a bad
thing as long as I don’t do it in front of my son. Homeschooling has taught me
a lot in the past two months. I worry I’m screwing him up but there is an ‘unschooling’
period that we have to go through. I mistakenly thought we’d be through it by now
but I have my eye on the prize.
My prayer for this experience is that my son
learns to love learning and retains the information he’s presented with. I did
what I was supposed to in school – I read the material so I could take the tests
then I moved on (again, a topic for another day). I want him to learn and
retain and I’m doing my best to figure out how to make that happen for him.
Saturday, September 5, 2015
Getting closer
After three full weeks of school, we're still trying to figure out our way. I'm not surprised though. I read a ton on homeschooling. I have books with links to other books. I subscribe to websites on homeschooling. I even found some (one article) information on homeschooling while working full time (yep, it's official - I'm crazy!).
Reading is nothing like doing.
Remember reading the book, What to Expect When You're Expecting? Yes, it was helpful but it wasn't anything compared to actually experiencing it. I read that book early on in my pregnancy when the things that were going to happen to my body hadn't happened yet. A book is nice. It's nice to have that edge but you still need to adjust once it actually happens. Plus, everyone is different so not everything in the book happened to me. That's nerve-wracking. Did I miss it? Is it supposed to happen? Will it happen later? ACK!
We're still adjusting and that's fine. I still like homeschool. I get to utilize my organizational skills and it's nice to have something that I have to do besides work.
I know what you're thinking. Why would you need anything else to do besides work?
Well, let me enlighten you. I'm a very organized person. At work, I know what I need to do and I tackle it head on. I've been struggling a bit with my sense of purpose at my job (another post perhaps) but I have a daily plan and it all gets done.
At home, I just want to sit and watch Castle on TNT.
I mean, I've been working all day and despite what my father thought, I do work every day. It's mentally and emotionally challenging and I'm tired when I get home. I have a bachelor's degree in psychology. I use it every day. Every. Day. Best money my parents ever spent.
Obviously, I have purpose when I come home. I have to clean, do laundry, etc. but if I don't do any of that, nothing happens except my house is a bit dusty, you might have to wash a glass or a dish before you eat and we have to wear those rarely worn clothes (you know, the ones you don't really like but keep in case you haven't done laundry yet and need something to wear).
So my house is messy, so what? I have a sign in my entry way with my disclaimer, "My house was clean last week. Sorry you missed it." :) My husband does all the cooking (yes, I hit the jackpot there) and the kids can clean if I need help. My husband cleans and does laundry too. Everyone pitches in. If I don't do my homeschooling job, my child suffers. That's a BIG motivator to get off the couch and get something done.
Reading is nothing like doing.
Remember reading the book, What to Expect When You're Expecting? Yes, it was helpful but it wasn't anything compared to actually experiencing it. I read that book early on in my pregnancy when the things that were going to happen to my body hadn't happened yet. A book is nice. It's nice to have that edge but you still need to adjust once it actually happens. Plus, everyone is different so not everything in the book happened to me. That's nerve-wracking. Did I miss it? Is it supposed to happen? Will it happen later? ACK!
We're still adjusting and that's fine. I still like homeschool. I get to utilize my organizational skills and it's nice to have something that I have to do besides work.
I know what you're thinking. Why would you need anything else to do besides work?
Well, let me enlighten you. I'm a very organized person. At work, I know what I need to do and I tackle it head on. I've been struggling a bit with my sense of purpose at my job (another post perhaps) but I have a daily plan and it all gets done.
At home, I just want to sit and watch Castle on TNT.
I mean, I've been working all day and despite what my father thought, I do work every day. It's mentally and emotionally challenging and I'm tired when I get home. I have a bachelor's degree in psychology. I use it every day. Every. Day. Best money my parents ever spent.
Obviously, I have purpose when I come home. I have to clean, do laundry, etc. but if I don't do any of that, nothing happens except my house is a bit dusty, you might have to wash a glass or a dish before you eat and we have to wear those rarely worn clothes (you know, the ones you don't really like but keep in case you haven't done laundry yet and need something to wear).
So my house is messy, so what? I have a sign in my entry way with my disclaimer, "My house was clean last week. Sorry you missed it." :) My husband does all the cooking (yes, I hit the jackpot there) and the kids can clean if I need help. My husband cleans and does laundry too. Everyone pitches in. If I don't do my homeschooling job, my child suffers. That's a BIG motivator to get off the couch and get something done.
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