Ack, he's a Senior!

He turns 18 shortly which means he can get a job around here (for some reason most places don't want to hire 16 year olds in our area). He needs to get his DL but we're working on that. What does this mean for his senior year? Well, this means I will get him all dressed up, take him for a senior picture to fill in my "Through the years" school frame and he'll take the GED.

What this means for me is that I will need to take some time to clean up the online schooling before I shut it down for good. I'm sad and excited. Sad because I like school and homeschooling gave me a chance to be creative, spend time with my son, make lots of lists, and work in Excel (I love spreadsheets). Excited because even though I love school, I love the idea that he's done (because he so wants to be done). I just want him to be happy. If helping him study for the GED so he can pass with flying colors is what makes him happy then sign me up!

It's been difficult to give myself permission to do things differently even with all the naysayers (some even in my own family) but we've come through it stronger and braver than when we started so I consider our whole homeschooling experience a win. He's such a great kid and I want great things for him. Taking him out of pubic school was the best for him (it may not be the best for you or your kid - this is just my opinion) and I wish I had done it sooner.

Junior Year

Started in September of 2018 but whatever. I would never make money at blogging. I'm clearly not good at writing every day or even every month.

Junior year started out strong. We were both excited and ready to make it the best yet. Unfortunately, I got distracted and the distraction involved him to some extent (we got new flooring in the bedrooms and the loft and he uses both rooms) which resulted in us both losing our momentum. By Thanksgiving we had decided to put the school program into hiatus until January.

Dusted off the cobwebs in January only to have us not start out strong or have much motivation so put the school account on hiatus again so he could study for the GED; he just wants to be done. He is looking into the trades which is something I'm very proud of him for doing. He has also started writing a novel based on a D&D campaign he created. Yes, I typed that - he is writing a novel. The one who hates writing is writing. Willingly! Let's just take a moment to appreciate this...

I think I type this every time but this is the beauty of homeschooling - it can be whatever you want it to be.

Sophmoritis?

The kid is not to blame... we are both not as gung ho as we were in the beginning of the year. He got behind and so did I, but we are trying to make it up. The best part is that even though he has not been all in with the school program, he still has been learning through reading and playing video games. YES! Video games can be educational!

He is still up for learning to write Japanese and he found a video game that will help him (I'm not surprised, are you?). He is not going to buy it until it goes on sale though. Smart kid. He has also decided he wants to cook without me or Dad in the kitchen with him. He is going to experiment with different foods which I think is a fantastic idea. 

Even though we are not entirely focused on the school work, we are still learning practical skills. This is the best part about homeschooling... it is fluid and all up to you. We are going to finish the school year strong even though we have gotten off course this semester because homeschooling is what you want it to be - nothing more, nothing less.  

Happy Homeschooling!

Taking Initiative

So, we're eating dinner tonight and the kid says to me, "Mom, you'll be so proud of me..." I'm thinking, "I'm always proud of you" but instead I quip, "Oh yeah? Why's that?"

"I'm using my journal to learn to write Japanese. There are three alphabets - I'm on the first one." He then goes into an explanation of each of the three alphabets for me and his father. After dinner, he shows us his journal. He is doing a great job so far even though, as he says, he is not good at drawing. (Side note: it irritates me that someone said that to him. I don't want to assume it was a teacher but I have little faith that it wasn't.) His dad asks if he'd rather have ruled paper and he says he would. He also asks if I have a clipboard. I'm trying not to jump for joy at this point (paper and a clipboard... for the kid who does his math homework in Paint. In. Paint. With his mouse. You see where I'm coming from?).

I bring him the clipboard and the notebook paper and he tells me he's now working on something different (he spent the afternoon on Japanese). In the video game he just taught me how to play there is a dragon language which he wants to learn. Best part of that language is for every letter of our alphabet is a corresponding letter in Dragon. A bit easier than Japanese.

When I left him just now he was learning how to write his name in Dragon. I told him that once he got to a point where he was comfortable, I could teach him how to write it all in calligraphy. He seemed pretty excited about that. Imagine that... Excited about writing!

3rd Year's A Charm?

  I don't want to jinx myself but I think we've finally found our groove. My son has four core classes that require a certain number of assignments completed each day in order to complete the week's schedule. He's been doing it without complaint. Without complaint! Someone knock on some wood with me!

  I have a list of subjects we did not cover during 8th and 9th grades so I will slowly introduce those to him in the coming weeks but so far so good for the first 6 weeks of school. I also have a list of subjects that I want to make sure we cover although the curriculum might already include some. I had resume and cover letter writing on the list but he's already doing that in Sophomore English so I scratched that off. I'm hoping to scratch off more but we'll see. Wish us luck!

Sophomore year!

  How is it possible my kid is a sophomore already? What is happening here?!

  Since we're still not participating in the co-op (even though they still have me in their group for the third year), we started school when we wanted to which is the day after Labor Day. Actually, I think the co-op started that day too but that is neither here nor there.

  We had a great day! We came up with a schedule, he's taking their math class (so far so good) and we have come to an understanding regarding writing assignments (which I intend to amend later but that's neither here nor there either). It's all good.

  Since he is doing the writing assignments, I've had more to grade and I'm already behind. Working 40 hours a week is really sucky when you're trying to homeschool a high schooler. I'm thrilled that he's doing so well and sticking to his schedule though so I'm not complaining!

  Issues so far that we'll have to work out:

1. Time 4 Learning still uses cartoon-y characters in their videos but we're dealing with it. If it stops being lectures again and all cartoon-y, I'll have to find another program for him which I have already been researching so I'm ready if that day comes.
2. Back to the writing issue - I do not believe he is fully utilizing their bank of information when it comes to his writing assignments but I will bring this up as we get a bit further into the semester. I have to remember that he is not an English geek like I am.
3. He wants to learn cursive and I have a bunch of other topics I want to introduce but I don't want to spring that on him until he gets a few weeks of his schedule under his belt. The hope is not to cause any surliness (at least, not more than he already exudes) and not to add hours to his school day. I need to figure out how to present these things to him without it seeming like school work. He's 16, not 6. 

  I'm up for the challenge and I'm optimistic for this year. Here's to a great sophomore year!

No Rest for the Weary

  As you know, we started our homeschooling year later than public school; after Labor Day, but that was to finish up some stuff from 8th grade. It was mid October before we started 9th grade. I did not schedule any breaks into the schedule this year and it runs through the end of June. I did this for a manageable schedule each day. If he saw pages of assignments for any of his classes, he would be overwhelmed.

  Recently, I told him if he wants a break, he can work ahead so he can take a few days and not get too far behind. He seemed OK with this request.

  I'm finding that I'm not OK with this request since it means that I, too, do not get a break. How did I miss that aspect?! No clue but I'm rolling with it. He seems to be doing well with the program and since I am doing my record keeping a bit differently this year, I have less busy work which is great!

  This is what I enjoy most about homeschooling - if something isn't working, I change it and we move on. Well, this is what I'm enjoying most this year. Last year was very stressful for both of us. This year, I have a new outlook and attitude. And, I have to say, thank goodness for my Passion Planner! I started using it in fall 2015 when I started homeschooling. 2017 will be my third year (2nd full year) and I'm so grateful for it.

  Regarding Math - I ordered a second-hand Teaching Textbook for Algebra I. He looked it over and likes the Painless Math better but we're going to go over it together to see what's what. We're going to start Algebra 1 with the Teaching Textbook in January.

  My new record keeping system - The program he uses is Time 4 Learning which checks off assignments on the calendar as he finishes them. Last year, I was printing it out a week at a time and checking what he did plus the date and writing down the grade he got. I did this mostly because I felt as though I needed to prove that I was doing something which is silly because of course I was! I helped him when he needed help, encouraged when he needed it, expressed my displeasure when I needed to, etc. In addition to all of this, I was also wasting a lot of time in the name of proving to anyone who questioned me that I was involved and engaged in my son's education. I thought by printing everything out, I was doing enough when really, I was doing enough by being there when he needed me.

  T4L has grading reports available so I'm no longer writing them on the printed calendar week of assignments. I'm no longer checking them off with a date either since again, it's all included in the grading report. I only print when the week is completed. The only thing I print out as he does them is his Odyssey Writer assignments. This is making it much easier on me and he can still go at his own pace. If there are gaps, I talk to him about them and we look to see where the disconnect is. It's working for us. I think we're both more relaxed this year.

Learning vs Memorizing

  Over the summer my youngest and I had to go to my mom's to help her with something. Some creosote oil my dad had in the garage had corroded the can it was sitting in and leaked all over a dolly and got on her floor. I know, big deal, it's on the floor, it's the garage, who cares? Well, her floor had been surfaced earlier this year with a non-stick coating (to make it safer for her in the winter time when the concrete sweats and is slippery) and she was worried about the finish. Frankly, so was I.

  As we were on our way over, I was explaining to my son what happened.

  S: "Why does Grandma even have that? It's not like she has any railroad ties at the house."

  Me: "How do you know what creosote oil is for?"

  S: "Well Mom, that's the funny thing about homeschooling. I actually learn stuff."

  Well, who da thunk it? He learned something. Imagine that! He went on to talk about how all he did in public school was memorize stuff for tests only to forget it so he could memorize different stuff for the next test. I smiled the whole time he talked. I couldn't help it! My choice to homeschool had been validated!

  I have always said public education is education for the masses. As a parent, it is my responsibility to educate my child as best I can. If you do not believe what your child is learning in school is enough, then either supplement it or put him in private school. And even private school is not guaranteed to be a great education so your best bet is to supplement in my opinion. Not everyone can afford Sylvan or Kumon which is fine - go to the library. Find a book on something your child likes and do a whole unit on it. Draw it. Write about it. Talk about it. Since my kids got good grades in school, I assumed they were learning what they needed but summers were another story. Some summers we went to the library and checked out books to read. I didn't make them do any work, just read and they both like to read so it was not a struggle. One summer they both did workbooks. They hated it. Guaranteed neither of them retained any of that information.

  Teachers are not meant to teach your child everything but so many parents expect them to. Talk to a teacher but ask them to be honest with their answers because if you don't, you will hear a bunch of I love what I do. I love the kids. It's so rewarding. I get summers off! If you ask for the truth, you will find that parents are the hardest part of their job and while I'm sure it has, to some extent, always been this way, it seems like it is much worse today.

  I am happy my youngest is retaining information he has learned. Has he learned it all from this homeschooling program? No. Some he has learned from his brother and some he has actually learned from the video games he plays. Proud gamer mom right here.

I'm a Homeschool Reference!

  A friend of mine asked me about homeschooling about a month ago (what program do you use, how to track grades, how many hours do they work on schoolwork, etc.) and I was delighted to share my experience!

  Seems their child is going through some of what my youngest went through including attending the same hospital program. Their saving grace is that this is happening early in the school year and they have me. =)

  I gave advice (solicited for once!) on the program I use and how I ran things for 8th grade and how I am running things for 9th. It was fun to talk about it but also a little nerve-wracking... I take homeschooling seriously but I did not want to give the impression that the way I am doing it is the only way. And, the first year, I gave A LOT of leeway to my son and I have a feeling it came off as me being too easy on him. More importantly, I did not want them to think that just because it is working for us that it will work for them.

  I absolutely hope it does work for them. There are many special circumstances in their situation which I do not have in mine so the program I am using would be the easiest for them to implement with everything they have going on; BUT, homeschooling is fluid (as I was reminded by my homeschool reference) and you have to be OK with changing things that are not working for you or your child.

  I wish them the best and hope they can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Permission To Drop It

  Yesterday was a struggle with math so I told my son he only needed to finish up pre-algebra with the program we have and I would find a non-common core algebra curriculum for 9th grade. He counted up the amount of work he had to do and was bummed to find out how much he had left with only two weeks to do it. I mentioned he knew since the first day of school he had math to finish and he chose to only focus on science and leave all the math until last. He dragged his feet with the science too - can we say, Pro-CRAS-tin-ation (it's split up like that because I am hearing Sponge Bob in my head saying it like he said, "I-MAGE-in-ation" and yes, I am also picturing the hand movements in my head).

  I have a friend who is homeschooling all three of her kids, and has been for a while now; she is my main go-to person for homeschooling. I asked what math she uses - Teaching Textbooks. Pricey but she says they are worth it. I am going to look into other options but this remains my first choice because I know someone using it successfully. 

  Since my youngest went to bed early last night and was clearly down about math, I asked my friend her opinion on something that was bugging me - should I make him finish pre-algebra or move on?

  I was not sure what to expect from her because I really did not know what to do. Am I failing him in some way by not making him finish what he started? Am I missing the point of homeschooling by not allowing him to move forward and try something else when one thing is clearly not working for him? I was truly stuck! Her response? "Move on. If the program isn't working, don't fall down that rabbit hole. If he's frustrated, it is not helping him. He's not learning so it's time to be done." I looked at my screen in disbelief. She gave me permission to drop it even though it was not finished and there was no judgment there (not that I thought there would be from her).

  I read so many books on homeschooling and most, if not all, said to drop something if it was not working for you or for your child. Why I needed someone else to give me permission to do what I had read about and knew already, I do not know but it definitely gave me the confidence I needed to move forward. Homeschooling is not always cheap. And the thought of wasting money makes me itch so it is not odd that I wanted to stick it out even after all I have read on homeschooling. If he were in public school, he would have to finish. I have to get out of that mindset. I think what bothers me most though is my son does not think he is good at math when I know he is. He can do complex problems in his head and give the right answer. How is that not good at math? He is brilliant! Yes, I am partial but who can blame me? :)

  I have been struggling with the decision to homeschool since bringing it up in January 2015. I am a wife, a mom of two boys, a daughter, an aunt, a good friend to many, a church member, a crafter and I work full time - how can I possibly homeschool too? My list as I am thinking about it right now:

• Am I doing enough?
• Am I spending enough time with him through this?
• Is the education I am providing him good enough to advance him?
• What amount of space should I give to him?
• Is the documentation I keep sufficient?
• Would I nag him less if he was in public school?
• Am I letting him off too easy when I do not nag him?
• How much nagging is too much and can I call it something other than nagging?
• How does this change our relationship now that I am Mom and Teacher?
• Do I get him out of the house enough?
• Am I allowing him to turn into a hermit?
• Does my husband think I am doing a good job?
• What does he think of the decisions I have made?

  Given my list of insecurities and the fact that my child is struggling with something that I can fix easily (no more common core, thank you very much), it seems clear to me now that my struggle is not because he is homeschooled, but that he is no longer in public school.

  Let me explain - there are certain expectations for public school students. As a student, you need to memorize certain things in order to pass all the tests so you can move to the next grade level. Key word here is memorize. My goal for homeschooling is that my son learns and retains information for future use. What good is memorizing facts just to take a test? And who is to say that what the test is asking him to remember is the part he needs to or wants to? If he forgets what he has learned, what is the lesson? Right now, he is learning and retaining information that he can recall at a later time which was my goal.

  We have our good days and our bad days but he is learning and that is the main thing.

Year 2 Progress thus far

  Back to school!

  Since my son is not attending a class at the high school this year, there was no reason to start him based on the district's calendar so I pushed back the first day of school until the Wednesday after Labor Day. A coworker had the day after Labor Day off so I had him work on end of year tests that day to gauge where he was in math and English. On the 7th, we talked about goals for the year, his schedule for classes, etc.

  Since we did not actually finish 8th grade, I wanted him to complete the sections of science and math he was missing. He has until the middle of October. We will see where he is at then and go from there. So far, he seems to be focusing on science only which is fine. He is powering on through.

  I have seen good things so far from him already and I am excited for this school year!

 

 

Finally Finished (Sort Of)

  Ok, so technically, he did not finish 8th grade but we are done with school. He still has some math and science to complete but we will work on that in the fall. Since I had a kid in public school this year, I based the homeschool calendar on his school calendar to keep things simple. My oldest is done with school (he graduated - YAY!) so my youngest is done with school.

  It was a reeeaaaaalllllyyyy long year for both of us. Up until last month, I was not sure if he was going to public school for freshman year or not. Now that I know he is not going to public school ( I am OK with him being done. It has been so stressful not knowing what the ultimate plan was this whole time because I kept thinking I was not doing enough if he was going to go back to public school. What if he was not learning all he needed to learn? I was really worried about common core math.

  No need to worry anymore though because he will continue with home schooling. He is learning a lot and is retaining what he learns which is what I really like. The psychologist suggested that perhaps he should take a class at the high school just to get out of the house and get that experience and to our surprise my son agreed!

  I spent the better part of the last month in talks with the high school counselor and the vice principal discussing what my son would need while at school but was unable to get everything nailed down for fall (for future reference, it takes more than 4 weeks to get this nailed down especially toward the end of the school year). We'll try for 2nd semester. In the meantime, I am going to enjoy my summer. I know my son is too.

 

Whine About It

Don’t mind if I do!

…Homeschooling is hard. Why doesn’t he just do his work? When I get home after spending the day at work, I’m tired. I don’t want to do math. I don’t like math. And, common core math is icky. When the directions tell him to write a paragraph, why do I get a sentence or two? Is the word ‘paragraph’ invisible to him? Or worse, did they not teach him what a paragraph is? Why is the 8th grade math familiar to him but the 7th grade social studies material is not? …

Oh, I could go on but I’ll spare you. I’m a silver lining type of girl but I have my days where I cannot be Miss Mary Sunshine all day. I have a good day at work to come home to find the boy has had a reasonable day of homeschooling but the psychologist is holding me accountable for him socializing.

No, my whole day is not ruined with this news. I’m an adult. Although, truth be told, I’m resentful of the psychologist’s insinuation that my child isn’t socializing.

Is he socializing as much as the psychologist would like? No, because he’s not in public school. But, it’s not like the child doesn’t ever leave the house. He talks to people. He can order his own food when we go out. He has a good friend he hangs out with when they both have time and he has a group of boys he games with every month or so. He spends a lot of time with his brother and he also spends quality time with his grandmother which is good for him. The word ‘socialization’ gives me hives (a topic for another day) so I digress.

I have to keep in mind that whining about it isn’t a bad thing as long as I don’t do it in front of my son. Homeschooling has taught me a lot in the past two months. I worry I’m screwing him up but there is an ‘unschooling’ period that we have to go through. I mistakenly thought we’d be through it by now but I have my eye on the prize.

My prayer for this experience is that my son learns to love learning and retains the information he’s presented with. I did what I was supposed to in school – I read the material so I could take the tests then I moved on (again, a topic for another day). I want him to learn and retain and I’m doing my best to figure out how to make that happen for him.

Getting closer

After three full weeks of school, we're still trying to figure out our way. I'm not surprised though. I read a ton on homeschooling. I have books with links to other books. I subscribe to websites on homeschooling. I even found some (one article) information on homeschooling while working full time (yep, it's official - I'm crazy!).

Reading is nothing like doing.

Remember reading the book, What to Expect When You're Expecting? Yes, it was helpful but it wasn't anything compared to actually experiencing it. I read that book early on in my pregnancy when the things that were going to happen to my body hadn't happened yet. A book is nice. It's nice to have that edge but you still need to adjust once it actually happens. Plus, everyone is different so not everything in the book happened to me. That's nerve-wracking. Did I miss it? Is it supposed to happen? Will it happen later? ACK!

We're still adjusting and that's fine. I still like homeschool. I get to utilize my organizational skills and it's nice to have something that I have to do besides work.

I know what you're thinking. Why would you need anything else to do besides work?

Well, let me enlighten you. I'm a very organized person. At work, I know what I need to do and I tackle it head on. I've been struggling a bit with my sense of purpose at my job (another post perhaps) but I have a daily plan and it all gets done.

At home, I just want to sit and watch Castle on TNT.

I mean, I've been working all day and despite what my father thought, I do work every day. It's mentally and emotionally challenging and I'm tired when I get home. I have a bachelor's degree in psychology. I use it every day. Every. Day. Best money my parents ever spent.

Obviously, I have purpose when I come home. I have to clean, do laundry, etc. but if I don't do any of that, nothing happens except my house is a bit dusty, you might have to wash a glass or a dish before you eat and we have to wear those rarely worn clothes (you know, the ones you don't really like but keep in case you haven't done laundry yet and need something to wear).

So my house is messy, so what? I have a sign in my entry way with my disclaimer, "My house was clean last week. Sorry you missed it." :) My husband does all the cooking (yes, I hit the jackpot there) and the kids can clean if I need help. My husband cleans and does laundry too. Everyone pitches in. If I don't do my homeschooling job, my child suffers. That's a BIG motivator to get off the couch and get something done.

So far, so good

Hmm, hope I didn't just jinx myself with that bold statement.

Yes, we've have some bumps in the road but I think, overall, it's going well. The beauty of homeschooling is that it's flexible. On the other hand, that also makes it difficult.

What??

Yes, it's wonderful to have a flexible schedule. I don't have to rush home every Friday to give a spelling test. If I want to give it the following Monday because we have stuff going on, that's fine. But (ah, the but), it's hard to get out of the structured frame of mind. I blame public school. :)

There needs to be structure. I work full time but he's old enough to manage himself and he does. He starts school around the same time every day and is done around the same time every day (I can see what he's doing on the portal of the program I picked for him. I can also tell how many minutes he spent on a assignment, test, etc.). The goal is to keep him on this schedule during the week and when it's necessary, to work on school work at night or on the weekends. This might prove to be a fight but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

The part that is not good? The psychologist. Since my son attended the anxiety program he sees a psychologist to help him deal with the social anxiety he has. As you can imagine, homeschooling is not an option he agrees with. I like the doctor and so does my son but I feel like my parenting is being questioned by offering the homeschooling.

To reiterate - I suggested homeschooling to my son in January of this year because he was having trouble with his asthma and I thought it would be better for his health to be in a controlled temp environment for a year to see how it went. This was before he was diagnosed with the social anxiety.

Truth be told, I am not liking where the school curriculum is going and that was also part of my decision to homeschool him.

I agree that he needs to be able to walk into an unfamiliar situation and deal with it but I'm positive we can achieve that while giving him the best education possible.

I'm loving homeschooling so far! I wish I had chose to do this when my oldest was in middle school.